Also known as Damn which I thought was pretty funny, but seriously. This is Super Real Life RPG! Where I talk about my life and give you a little insight into it through my eyes as a gaming lover of all kinds. This episode, ye olde style sixteen to thirty bit RPG style
Starting with this morning around 3 a.m. For some reason I hadn't been sleeping well for the past few weeks. I am not really sure why but I think it has something to do with the fact that I am leaving to go see my parents which I haven't traversed over the wilds to see them in some time. Mostly because I haven't been able to take off of work from the item shop that I work at. Deals mostly with mounts and such but hey, it helps pay my bills but I digress.
I hadn't been sleeping well and I thought it might have been the above mentioned issue, or it could be that I have actually been cursed at one point in time or my family has a curse upon them so that no one will ever get good sleep. I can prove this with my mother. Then my little cat beast decided to try and wake me up when my mechanized alarm would not lift me from the grave. I quickly tried to shove him off but it proved a little difficult. Though what I thought was more difficult was waking my sleeping wife, which she specifically told me to wake her when I do...for those of you who are married or live with your significant other...this is a dangerous game. Idiocy +10 for that one. Though my wife did not destroy me like a dragon would, she merely pouted a bit and said it was too cold.
Being groggy and hungry does not suit me in the mornings but I usually go about my morning with a well made confection of a fine paste of crushed peanuts and strawberries that have been jammed along with a cup of black tea. +1 to health and speed for the moment. Also as a bonus, +1 reputation with my beasts as they begged for early food this morning. I couldn't say no to them.
Taking the refuse out from my dwelling this morning I felt a chill in the air which was strange because the weather has been sweltering for the past few days. "Fall is on it's way" I thought to myself.
I then kissed my lovely Chieftain goodbye, hopped onto my shale colored mount and made my way to the city so I could make some coin for an honest days work. Monster hunting is done on the weekend for me. Similar to massage therapy. Some people can make a living off of it but it is a luxury most people cannot afford right now and unfortunately I cannot. (Btw, I am a licensed massage therapist. That's right. I am Mr. Willey, Mt.) Surprisingly I didn't encounter any of the rabble that I normally would. Goblins and foul mouthed Ogres who somehow obtained a license to ride a mount usually flood the roads of my city but not this morning. Not even the guard was out which seemed odd. Not even a Gryphon rider in the sky today.
I managed to make it to the item shop with a few minutes to spare but business had already started. I needed to get that magic black oil that many humans have in the morning to jumpstart their day before I could do any work because I am cranky without it. I am of course talking about Coffee. Oh that wonderful potion of haste and health all bundled into one. How could I live without that mistress of the black oil?
After my potion of haste, I got to work on slaying a few orders that came my way. Pulling merchandise from the shelves and bringing it to the customers. Bearing in mind that I would have to slay the occasional cellar rat or even a large spider that has been running around the warehouse. That didn't happen today though so I got a few items ready to be picked up by courier and shipped to the customers across the country. Nothing too worrisome for the morning. *Cue fanfare* +20 exp...it wasn't that tough.
While stomping monstrous vermin that entered the shop, I did manage to exchange some juicy gossip with one of the customers. Apparently a very well renowned man who was the spokesperson or icon of a well known eatery was caught with rather vile things. For those who don't know. It was Jarrod from Subway. Caught with child pornography or something along the sorts. This is just from the grape vine. My coworker confirmed it for me which was a little sad in a sense but at the same time, I know that I won't be eating there again. Mostly because I dislike the taste of their food now. Just tastes off to me now.
By the time lunch rolled around I decided that it would be lovely to have a friendly sparring match with someone but they were having none of it for some reason. I did what I could to compromise the situation but nothing was working in my favor. I decided to leave the arena for now to return after I had eaten to find that by backing out of the match, my ranking had lowered a bit. Determined to get it back and only half an hour to spare, I quickly found the nearest opponent and decided to fight them and win, though probably out of sheer luck. I play Hearthstone on my breaks at lunch. I'm not very good at it.
After my lunch I realized that it was getting close for me to leave as I had an appointment with a wizard of the oral kind that afternoon. Terrifying mages if I do say so. They command such fear and respect and they are always obliged to help us with our problems...yet what do most of us do after they help us? We don't follow their instructions to help prevent further mishaps...just like I do.
Well I made my way to the wizard of the teeth for my regularly scheduled check up and I was not looking forward to the one thing I hate the most. Cleanings. Cleanings are the most painful thing to me about the denti...oral wizard as I have sensitive gums and teeth in general. I think I brush too hard and use too hard of a bristled brush. I went into the dreaded dungeon where the high pitched whine of the mortifier, the drill of the wizard could be heard excavating Odin only knows what. I made my way to the rack and proceeded to have my teeth cleaned by ******* (I won't divulge the name because that would be without their permission) the dungeon keeper, who surprisingly was more gentle on my teeth than the last person I had and did not have to work me over as much. Just a lot of staining from the amount of tea and coffee I drink. The wizard of teeth made a quick visit, found out that there was nothing for her to worry about, and the vanished as quick as she came, off to drill another tooth to health. I then grabbed my loot containing fluoride toothpaste and made my way back to my domicile and then proceeded to do the dishes that I had forgot the night before!
End
No one wants to hear about my life outside of that. It's mostly just crafting and stuff. Writing...pffft. Who wants to write when they could be slaying monsters!
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