Super Real Life RPG. Episode 1 Delta Awesomesauce Management Now!

Also known as Damn which I thought was pretty funny, but seriously. This is Super Real Life RPG! Where I talk about my life and give you a little insight into it through my eyes as a gaming lover of all kinds. This episode, ye olde style sixteen to thirty bit RPG style


Starting with this morning around 3 a.m. For some reason I hadn't been sleeping well for the past few weeks. I am not really sure why but I think it has something to do with the fact that I am leaving to go see my parents which I haven't traversed over the wilds to see them in some time. Mostly because I haven't been able to take off of work from the item shop that I work at. Deals mostly with mounts and such but hey, it helps pay my bills but I digress.


I hadn't been sleeping well and I thought it might have been the above mentioned issue, or it could be that I have actually been cursed at one point in time or my family has a curse upon them so that no one will ever get good sleep. I can prove this with my mother. Then my little cat beast decided to try and wake me up when my mechanized alarm would not lift me from the grave. I quickly tried to shove him off but it proved a little difficult. Though what I thought was more difficult was waking my sleeping wife, which she specifically told me to wake her when I do...for those of you who are married or live with your significant other...this is a dangerous game. Idiocy +10 for that one. Though my wife did not destroy me like a dragon would, she merely pouted a bit and said it was too cold.


Being groggy and hungry does not suit me in the mornings but I usually go about my morning with a well made confection of a fine paste of crushed peanuts and strawberries that have been jammed along with a cup of black tea. +1 to health and speed for the moment. Also as a bonus, +1 reputation with  my beasts as they begged for early food this morning. I couldn't say no to them.


Taking the refuse out from my dwelling this morning I felt a chill in the air which was strange because the weather has been sweltering for the past few days. "Fall is on it's way" I thought to myself.


I then kissed my lovely Chieftain goodbye, hopped onto my shale colored mount and made my way to the city so I could make some coin for an honest days work. Monster hunting is done on the weekend for me. Similar to massage therapy. Some people can make a living off of it but it is a luxury most people cannot afford right now and unfortunately I cannot. (Btw, I am a licensed massage therapist. That's right. I am Mr. Willey, Mt.) Surprisingly I didn't encounter any of the rabble that I normally would. Goblins and foul mouthed Ogres who somehow obtained a license to ride a mount usually flood the roads of my city but not this morning. Not even the guard was out which seemed odd. Not even a Gryphon rider in the sky today.


I managed to make it to the item shop with a few minutes to spare but business had already started. I needed to get that magic black oil that many humans have in the morning to jumpstart their day before I could do any work because I am cranky without it. I am of course talking about Coffee. Oh that wonderful potion of haste and health all bundled into one. How could I live without that mistress of the black oil?


After my potion of haste, I got to work on slaying a few orders that came my way. Pulling merchandise from the shelves and bringing it to the customers. Bearing in mind that I would have to slay the occasional cellar rat or even a large spider that has been running around the warehouse. That didn't happen today though so I got a few items ready to be picked up by courier and shipped to the customers across the country. Nothing too worrisome for the morning. *Cue fanfare* +20 exp...it wasn't that tough.


While stomping monstrous vermin that entered the shop, I did manage to exchange some juicy gossip with one of the customers. Apparently a very well renowned man who was the spokesperson or icon of a well known eatery was caught with rather vile things. For those who don't know. It was Jarrod from Subway. Caught with child pornography or something along the sorts. This is just from the grape vine. My coworker confirmed it for me which was a little sad in a sense but at the same time, I know that I won't be eating there again. Mostly because I dislike the taste of their food now. Just tastes off to me now.


By the time lunch rolled around I decided that it would be lovely to have a friendly sparring match with someone but they were having none of it for some reason. I did what I could to compromise the situation but nothing was working in my favor. I decided to leave the arena for now to return after I had eaten to find that by backing out of the match, my ranking had lowered a bit. Determined to get it back and only half an hour to spare, I quickly found the nearest opponent and decided to fight them and win, though probably out of sheer luck. I play Hearthstone on my breaks at lunch. I'm not very good at it.


After my lunch I realized that it was getting close for me to leave as I had an appointment with a wizard of the oral kind that afternoon. Terrifying mages if I do say so. They command such fear and respect and they are always obliged to help us with our problems...yet what do most of us do after they help us? We don't follow their instructions to help prevent further mishaps...just like I do.


Well I made my way to the wizard of the teeth for my regularly scheduled check up and I was not looking forward to the one thing I hate the most. Cleanings. Cleanings are the most painful thing to me about the denti...oral wizard as I have sensitive gums and teeth in general. I think I brush too hard and use too hard of a bristled brush. I went into the dreaded dungeon where the high pitched whine of the mortifier, the drill of the wizard could be heard excavating Odin only knows what. I made my way to the rack and proceeded to have my teeth cleaned by ******* (I won't divulge the name because that would be without their permission) the dungeon keeper, who surprisingly was more gentle on my teeth than the last person I had and did not have to work me over as much. Just a lot of staining from the amount of tea and coffee I drink. The wizard of teeth made a quick visit, found out that there was nothing for her to worry about, and the vanished as quick as she came, off to drill another tooth to health. I then grabbed my loot containing fluoride toothpaste and made my way back to my domicile and then proceeded to do the dishes that I had forgot the night before!


End


No one wants to hear about my life outside of that. It's mostly just crafting and stuff. Writing...pffft. Who wants to write when they could be slaying monsters!

New story teaser currently dubbed "SPFT" *Some coarse language and violence*

Cluster Group: Neru Ahn Kal. Galaxy: Heimrada. Galactic Sector/Group: Arcanos. Planet: Telasant. Date/Time: Hyun Calendar. July 20^th, 4015. 12:15 P.M. The plant of Telasant. A Backwater planet to most in the Arcanos sector but home to a thriving community of nearly all works of life in the Heimrada Nebulae. Very similar to that of a prehistoric Terra in a sense, though twice the size along with the weather being generally hot and humid ninety percent of the time with a higher tropical climate than most helping fuel the massive sizes of the flora and fauna of Telasant. The weather ranges from a cool ninety eight degrees to the hottest on record being over one hundred thirty degrees. Measures must definitely be taken into account to survive on this hostile planet but for those that call it home, they have learned to work with this and have carved out their niches on the outskirts of the cities and even inside the capital of Telasant, Rhyel. A massive, sprawling cityscape that covers well over one hundred miles of land. Rhyel controls the outlying cities and outskirt towns on the fringes of civilization with a fairly just hand at times. When it comes to the matters of Galactic Law though, they are beyond powerless and answer to the Council of Colonized Planets, just like ever other planet in the Heimrada Nebulae. They are the ones that make the rules when it comes to anything that is outside of your gravitational pull but they have been known to alter these laws during certain times, like the Verunai War in 3515. All planets under the CCP banner were immediately mobilized to fight the Verunai that hailed from another Cluster of unknown origin but that was a long time ago. The CCP haven't changed their rules in five hundred years and things have been quiet for far too long.

On the fringes of the gravitational pull outside the planet Telasant, a ship exits out of its jump through hyperspace with a quick thrum. A vessel that looks to be no ordinary one to the naked eye. Its size was close to that of a cruiser but upon another inspection, the output of weapons and possible firepower that this ship contained looked like more of a dreadnought that a regular flagship. No banners or markings flew on this ship and the colors of the ship constantly changed, almost as if the ships armor had a type of light or color refractor added to it to blend into anything around its surroundings. Soon the ship begins to inch closer to the planet Telasant, remaining in its chameleon like camouflage for an unknown reason.

The strange craft cruises closer to Telasant while managing to stay out of the gravitational pull of the planet. The silence of space is shattered as one of the rear engines on the ship had for some unknown reason exploded in an unprovoked fashion. In less than three seconds, another explosion could be seen coming from the middle of the ship. Nothing appears to have been very damaged from the outside of the ship from the first set of explosions but it was not the same story on the inside of the vessel.

In one of the more luxurious suites aboard the ship, better known as the Captains Quarters, during the second set of explosions that had now been triggered aboard the ship, a man in what appears to be his early forties is thrown from his bunk due to the shock and force from the explosions. The man is thrown hard enough that he hits his head on the side of the wall and a loud ringing fills his head. After a few moments of trying to figure out just exactly what is going on to him, the ringing is slowly replaced with the sound of one of the emergency alarms that is sounding not only through his cabin but through the rest of the ship. A holo monitor comes up on one of the dashboard panels to the side of the room with a scrambled image of one of the technicians aboard the ship, desperately trying to reach the man who was thrown like a rag doll around his cabin. "Cap..ain!? Ca...t..n!? Captain are y...there?!" The captain pulls himself together as he puts his hand over his face and groans for a moment, slowly wiping the blood away from a cut above his right eye. He stands up and walks over to the holo monitor and presses a few buttons and he begins to speak in a very gruff tone. "Mr Briggs, I have just been thrown out of my bunk during a very wonderful dream about two very beautiful Arelian women, my head is split open and ringing along with the alarm systems. Now what in the nine infernal hells is happening on my ship!?" "Captain, we haven't had a one hundred percent confirmation on what exactly happened but we do know that everything was running smoothly after we came out of hyperspace. Soon after there was an explosion in the left engine bay and then another one that came from the middle of the ship. Unfortunately we're stalled out in here and there is no way we will make our rendezvous at the Orval Station. There are fires in the engine bay and some of the other compartments have taken heavy damage internally."
Another heavy shock wave and sounds of another explosion could now be heard and felt not only in the captains quarters but to other people in the surrounding areas along with Mr. Briggs fumbling slightly, trying to keep his footing so he doesn't fall again. The face on the captain is now riddled with anger and frustration as he growls for a second under his breath for a moment. "Talk to me Briggs! What is going on!?" "I'm trying sir, just give me a second" Mr. Briggs says as he rapidly taps his fingers across his holo monitor trying to asses what had just happened. "We don't exactly have all day mister-" Another explosion rocks the ship as more sirens begin to wail along with holo warnings coming up on multiple screens while other parts of the ship seem to be flickering in and out of life while other parts of the ship seem to be shutting down. The captain, with a concerned look takes a view around him and then plasters his face to the holo monitor. "Talk to me Briggs, what is going on?" "Captain! A part of the main hull has been breached and is being sealed off as we speak. Fires are being reported in the upper north and lower south hangars and the science bay!" "Science bay!? Briggs! Is the Halcyon and X-9 secure!?" Mr. Briggs begins to check many different screens that continually appear on his end of the monitor flashing different colors with different symbols on them. "Captain, the Halcyon is safe and secure for now, it hasn't been touched yet as far as I can tell. I can't get a reading on X-9 right now, I need to run more secure scans on the ship but it's getting a little dicey right now sir!" "Mr. Briggs you get me a reading on X-9 in the next forty five seconds or I will personally throw you into the air lock and jettison your scrawny ass into the abyss do you understand me? Do not under any circumstances let X-9 leave this ship. Use necessary force if you must! Do I make myself-"

The captain halts his monologue as he recognizes the unmistakable thrum of a military issued Mag-Revolver being powered up right behind him at a very close range. Hearing the thrum sent a surge of wonders through his mind like a flash as he began to sift through all of the people that he had either imprisoned, wronged willingly or unknowingly until a voice spoke over the low hum of the revolver. "Well well well. Now doesn't this look like a fine ass predicament that you've caught yourself in now, isn't it captain? Ship blown half way ta helln' back and now you can't find your precious cargo. Sounds to me like someone is about to get demoted down to scrubbin toilets with his toothbrush again." The captain no longer guessed at who was behind him as a smirk came across his face with a "Hmph" as he recognized the owner of the voice behind him. "Ha ha, ya know I was wondering when you were going to show your ugly mug around here again. You had us fooled pretty good apparently. Here we all thought that you had been in sick bay for the past week recovering from Thyrian Fever and low and behold, you manage to slip away from the medic bay unnoticed, get into the weapons lockers that are under strict lock and key, pilfer one of my personal weapons and start some shit again. You never cease to amaze me you know that." "You're damn right Bradigus. Too bad that my job isn't to parley with you at the moment. Brad, we could've been great friends ya know, that is ,had we not already been enemies. Just had to do it didn't you?" "I wanted a better life than pilfering my daily bread. Put that ten years behind me. I see you kept that hidden from me you liar. So you've gone and sabotaged my ship and now you're going to try and steal everything that you can? You haven't changed." "Oh the job is just for two things. Halcyon and X-9." Bradigus laughs for a moment as he turns around to see the full view his assailant. "Good luck trying to move either Halcyon or X-9 without this ship. Once our distress beacon has been picked up from the surface they'll put out an alert to headquarters. They'll come for both of them and they'll bring nightmares the likes you've never seen to make sure no one gets their greedy mitts on their property. So if they go missing or end up on this back ass water planet, they'll hunt them and you down. So what are you going to do? Just like old times. You never thought everything through. It was always me who had to do the dirty work and call the shots! You've got noth-" A loud blast rang out in the quarters under the tones of the alarms blaring as the kinetic ammo from the Mag-Revolver pierced through the skull of Captain Bradigus. The revolver thrummed slowly as the unknown assailant powered his new weapon down and holstered it quickly, then went to plundering through the pockets of the captain. The assailant then looked around Bradigus' neck and saw a strange looking pendant. Upon closer inspection, unknown runes were inscribed on the pendant along with a common script that read "Halcyon" to the side. The pendant was ripped from its place as the assailant marveled at it for a moment. "Alright sugar, let's see what you can handle" the assailant said as they quickly made their way to the hangar containing Halcyon, all the while alarms ringing out through the ship as it began its descent towards the planet Telasant.

Board game weekend! Five board/card games that you might find fun

This past weekend I decided to go out and play some little card and board games with my friends and to my amazement some of them were actually very fun. I had my doubts at first but after playing them for a little bit (along with having a few drinks in me) my friends and family and myself really enjoyed them and I want to share them with you. So here are five games that you might enjoy.


5 - What's Yours Like? (c)

At first I wasn't so sure about this game until I was told the rules. I don't remember it word for word but what I do remember is this. There are many cards that have random assortments of things on them that can be anything from inanimate objects to skills that you use in your daily life. To give you an example some of our words were "Typing ability, siblings, attention span" and a few other words that I cannot remember but one person is to guess the word by receiving clues from the others players with answers that are not supposed to be easy to guess but not extraordinarily vague. Example, Say you picked the card with the word "Rake" on it. I would say "Mine is sharp" while someone else may say "Mine is metal" and the final person may say "Mine is missing teeth." A little vague but that is alright as the clues will get easier with time. It might start out a little slow at first but we played this game for about two hours straight until we almost passed out. Just a simple little game that I thought was fun to play.

4 - Betrayal at House on the Hill (c)

Going out to a local game and hobby shop this past Saturday, my wife and one of her friends wanted me and another of my friends to play this game with them. I was the only one who hadn't played so once again, I wasn't so sure about it. This game is along the lines of the game Arkham Horror (C) if anyone has ever heard of it or played it as you choose your players that have their own stats the are used for various instances such as escaping from falling into a collapsed room and plummeting to the basement or fighting off specters that come in through the windows. Now there are some interesting rules to this game. The map of the board game is not pre-constructed. There are tiles with doors that you link to either the basement, ground or upper floors and you add a new one on the board when your character moves to another room that may reveal certain events, items or omens. After certain conditions are filled, one of your party members becomes the betrayer which unleashes something terrible in the house. For example, our friend was playing a little girl and she was inadvertently possessed by "The Mad Man" I think? Can't remember the name correctly. He summoned specters in all the rooms that had windows that had been revealed and he then got his own special victory conditions and we as the remaining players got ours which was to either exorcise the specters or destroy them with special items. At that point things got pretty hairy as my character almost died and the specters ran rampant but within a few turns we were able to get the upper hand and vanquish them. There are many other instances that can happen with this game and I look forward to playing the rest of them so I would give this one a try if you are into things like this.


3 - Cash N Guns (C)

Now this game might look like a childs game due to the cartoonish artwork plastered on the front cover of the box and it even states that it is for ages 10 and up right on the front of the box. Now before anyone gets on their high horse about how this promotes gun violence or anything else of the sort, this is A BOARD GAME OF FICTIONAL PROPORTIONS meaning it is not real. The props are not real (yes there are prop pistols) the money is not real and the incentive of doing this for real is not..real. Now, on to the fun part. Game play. This game centers around group of gangsters that have just hit the biggest job of their lives and now it is time to split up the pot but I guess there are people who think they've earned more than their fair share so now it has turned to a game of chicken in a sense to see who gets the pot or shares of the pot. You are given a prop gun and a fictional character cut out. The mob boss lays out the loot for the round and you have eight bullet cards. Five of them are a "Click!" while three of them are "Bang!." Once you have chosen your bullet card (ugh...this is going to sound horrible) you point the prop gun at another player and it becomes a game of chicken. The mob boss can be targeted and he has a special ability that states he can make you point at someone other than him, but only once. Then the mob boss begins a count down from three. If you think you might get hit with a bang! card then you can knock your character over, saving them from getting a wound token after one has been called but not getting any shares of the loot. If you want to stay up you yell out "BANZAI!" and then you turn your card over along with the other people who stayed up. If someone has targeted you and they had a click! card, you are safe and you will get some share of the loot unless you are hit with a bang! card. Then you are knocked down and get a wound token. If you get three total, you are out of the game. Those are the general rules and if you want to learn more about the rules, just go check it out. Definitely a fun drinking game for you and a couple of your friends in my opinion.

2 - Munchkin (C)

Oh Munchkin. Soo many nights of thinking "I've got this game in the bag with this next monster card...then it all goes horribly wrong when your "Best buddy" decides to remember that time in eighth grade when you didn't pay him back for that soda you bought when you didn't have the change and throw a couple of cards your way and forever ruin your shot at winning the game. As the name on the box implies, "Kill the monsters. Steal the treasure. Stab your buddy. (C) (C) (C)" This game has a lot of rules to follow so I will not go into extreme depth. Basically every player is a character in a dungeon crawling adventure and every time you kill a monster, you get a level and treasure. you can also sell treasure equal to a value of one thousand or more to gain another level as well. The goal is usually to get to level ten to win the game but sometimes we run it up to level twenty. There are many different joke monsters to kill and loot and many joke loot cards that will either help you out in the long run or will add insult to injury on you or another one of your unsuspecting doofs...I mean buddies. This game may seem short but depending on the size of the group you are playing with, it will take hours. The longest game I have ever encountered was around five hours and we had to stop it because everyone was falling asleep at that time.

1 - Cards Against Humanity (C)

Cards Against Humanity. The game that is rude, crude and socially unacceptable in any which fashion and or setting for any number of reasons, yet that is the best thing about it. It is a card game that is essentially Apple to Apples (C) for people of the variety of foul minded people like myself and my friends. Now if you have ever played Apple to Apples then you know what to expect. Everyone gets a few cards in their hands and one person draws a card from a draw deck and now players have to complete the sentence or phrase as best as they can with the cards they have been dealt. Sometimes things work out in their favor but it is more often than not and you have to cater to that persons mindset and really know who they are because the one who drew from the draw deck will decide who the winner is and will get a point or card or whatever and once they have X amount of points/cards then they win. Same exact thing in CAH but with more vulgar things that one shouldn't utter around Grandma...unless your Grandma is awesome like that. My wife and I, along with our friends got this game rolling at the game shop that we frequent and people were tapping in and playing halfway through games because we were having a blast. We were also playing with a certain rule. The rule of Rando Cardissian (C)? (T)? where Rando the shadow player acts just like a normal player, but if he wins the game then everyone is forever shamed...Rando was on point every game and nearly won once. The phrase of the night and now coined by me and my friends being "Goddammit Rando!" This game is seriously fun but is obviously meant for adults over the age of 17+ but I am sure that some of you who are not of age have played this before. If you think this sounds like fun, grab a few of your friends, get some beers (if you are legal drinking age of course) and have a ball with it.

Hope you all have enjoyed my review of five board/card games you might enjoy.

Teaser for an *Original* thriller story *Warning, graphic language that is not intended for children*

“War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over. William Tecumseh Sherman said that. I don't think he realized how wrong he was. Oh he may have been correct about the human race being cruel and how quickly their tyranny would end in certain situations...I don't think he ever imagined that something this horrific would plague the world. Poor bastards...they don't even realize what is happening all around them...right under their feet...lurking in their shadows and hiding under your beds at night.” The darkness that swelled under the earth made not a sound. It did not mutter nor speak. It sat silent and waiting. A flash from a shoulder mounted LED light illuminated the darkness and footsteps could be heard at a frantic pace down the winding stone halls. “War is definitely cruelty, but we are fighting a new war in this day and age. Something that isn't fought in parliament. Something that the people shouldn't know about...just yet.” The footsteps that could be heard down the fetid halls become as frantic as ever as a female field agent, clad in ballistics grade armor dashes through a puddle of blackened water that scatters a few rats around the pipes where the water drained from.


“Conspiracies can be found all over the world. Area 51 and the “Greys” that so many people claim seeing and being brought about ships beyond our comprehension. The theories of the Anunaki and the Sumerian tablets along with the supposed progenitors of our world. Telekinetic psycho-technology. Mind control and meta physical destruction of the brain. Weapons of mass destruction that could wipe Russia off the face of the planet in less than three seconds. Military sub levels built in caves that house para-natural and supernatural scientists that fuck with things beyond this mortal realm of ours...and eons beyond our understanding...in the pursuit of what? A better brighter future?” The woman is breathing extremely heavily even though she looks like she could easily run five miles and not break a bead of sweat. Something is strange about this one though. Sweat pools on her forehead, her cheeks pale as a sheet, pupils shrunken down to the size of small specks and the looks of utter horror on her face. “If we are searching for a better and brighter future, my only questions is this. In this hell hole we call home...whose brighter future will it be for? Me and you, or for someone behind closed doors?”


 As the armor clad woman continues to run, she unlatches a pair of strange goggles that are attached to her hip and fasten them around her neck. She then reaches into an outer breast pocket, picking out a handful of small round objects and immediately throws them behind her. Once they hit the ground, small blue diodes lite up on them and began to pulsate for a moment. The woman looked back only for a moment to see if anything was following her. She rushes through another small puddle and turns her head back around, only to have a large spiders web firmly attach to her face and hair that immediately shocked her system with fright. She screamed out in the dark tunnels that echoed on for miles it seemed as she scurried to get the webs out of her eyes. Once she was free from the nuisance, she drew her weapon that was holstered on her other hip side. A strange looking pistol that bore a switch that she flipped on, powering up the weapon and illuminating it with a slightly blue tint that shown through small crevasses and other wires along the handgun. It whirred for a moment until it had reached a certain charge on a gauge that said “32% eff.” and a counter on the side of it. The handgun let out a small piercing noise that echoed in the dripping halls around her along with her heavy breathing. She pointed the pistol in all directions, quickly taking aim at anything that she perceived as a threat that shown in the light. A high pitched whine could be heard as a small explosion of light and an odd colored electricity lit up a portion of the halls where she had just been. Following the lights, a chilling and haunting shriek shattered the shadows of the halls around the woman that made her hair stand on end and her hands clam up.


A small gadget on her wrist lights up and a holo-projected monitor starts sending readings to her that continue to climb until they begin flashing red and a warning sign comes into view while displaying “Unk-Unk-Unk” off to the side. Her lips start to stutter as she hears a set of what one could only think of as clawed feet coming in her direction. She points the pistol in the direction of the sound until she notices a counter on the side of the firearm that reads “03”. “Fuck! Shit! No...no no no...” She immediately abandons the thought of using her weapon as she quickly turns off into the direction she was heading and sprints off in a frenzied pace. She quickly ducks and dodges low hanging pipes along with rock formations that jutted out from the side of the wall or that had fallen from the ceilings above her. She made it a point not to look back and did her best to keep her breathing as steady as possible to minimize fatigue but her terrified state was winning. A scratching and whirring noise instantly overrides her thought process as her COMM-Link tries to pick up a signal that is having difficulty getting through. She lowers an earpiece and mic down to hopefully get a response. “Hello? Hello! Can anyone hear me! HQ?! Anyone?!” The COMM whirrs and scratches some more until something could be formed. A familiar voice. “Je...Jess...Jesse! Come in Jesse! Goddammit Jesse answer me! What in the bloody hell is going on down there!” Jesse turns back around and fails to hear any indication that the thing making the noise was continuing its chase. She halts for a moment and waits patiently as the voice continues to scream out her name. She takes this moment to duck behind a large rock formation and begins pulling ammo clips out of a leg carrier along with what appears to be a small medical kit containing small vials of various luminescent liquids and other odd things that even a doctor would not recognize. She opens up the channel and begins to speak to the person on the other end. “Captain! Captain is that you?!” “Yes darling it is, now tell me...what in the nine hells is going on down there!” Jesse changed the ammo clip from her pistol and inserted a new one and now the counter read “25” instead of its original “03” but still remained at “32eff.” “Captain, something went wrong down here.” “Wha...explain yourself Jess. What do you mean wrong?” “Our intel had to have been off on this one. Briefing told us that we were just going to be sent down here on a routine class two portal hunt. Something trivial at best. Shouldn't have been anything three agents would have had to worry about but they said something about getting odd readings around the site so they wanted to be careful and sent the three of us down here. We never found the portal...just...it” “What the shit are you talking about Jesse? None of our sensors detected any sort of anomalies before we dropped you three in the zone. No PKE. No PPOE. No signs of anything down there. What is going on down there! Where is the rest of the company?” “Captain there is something down here, I'm not making this up!”


The point of view switches to that of the captain. A large and very scarred man, easily towering over his intel agent that is working frantically beside him. The captain pauses his onslaught of Jesse and closes his eyes. He breathes in and then lets out a sigh that is all too familiar to the agent next to him as he diverts his eyes away from the captain. “Hendricks and Hyoo Sung. Where are they? Our heart monitors picked up odd readings and before we knew it, they flat lined. What happened Jess?” A slight sniffling could be heard from the earpiece and the captains fears immediately became reality. “Dead...sniff...they're both dead. It...that thing...it picked us off one by one. Tricked us somehow and separated us like beef due for the knife. When I heard their screams and found it consuming them...I..I ran. Those eyes...” The captains eyes drew in for a moment as his eyebrows lowered in anger. “Goddammit...Hendricks was a POA. A rank four one at that. What in the hell could have taken him down that could have walked through a class two?” “Captain, this thing. It's something new. Something that-” The captain immediately cuts Jesse off with a quick bark. “What did you just say?” “Captain it's something new! Something that we've never seen before. Hendricks and Hyoo Sung had never seen or heard about this before and I know that they've been on the squad for three years.” “Jesse, what class and rank is it?” “I don't know captain. The scanner went crazy anytime that thing got near us. Everything is unknown captain” “What in the hell did you find Jess?!” “Captain, it's gotta be supara-natural and it's at least a ra-”

The COMM transmission becomes scrambled and overflowing with static and white noise, only allowing in bits and pieces of scared words coming from Jesse. “It...the...abi...g..inco...t..wil..and it..ac...rup..can..s when it...ear.” The captains puzzled look extends to the intel agent next to him as his eyes squint slightly. “Carmichael, what the hell is going on with the signal?” The intel agent Carmichael, furiously trying his best to smooth out the signal, responds in the most calm manner he can. “I don't know captain. She's only twenty five feet underground so there shouldn't be any issues unless she hit a patch of granite or something that might be putting of some sort of EM interference which we would've detected long ago.” The captains pupils widen as he presses a small button on his ear COMM and screams out “Jesse! Jesse can you hear me!”


Back in the darkness of the underground labyrinth that has Jesse within it's grasp, after she finishes explaining the situation she waits for a response from her captain, but all she can hear is the haunting sound of static from her COMM. “Captain?...captain?” Her voice becomes softer as the sound of scratches and static reverberate off of the walls and the occasional crackle of partial words jump from the COMM. Her eyes widen in the light of her shoulder LED mount and her lips begin to quiver as she catches the sound of the unearthly scream that had sent her in a panic before. The sound of footsteps can be heard, almost like they are trudging through the muck and umbral morass of the world around them. The footsteps began to pick up their pace, creating more noise that bounced off the walls in every direction around Jesse making it nearly impossible to figure out where the source of the sound was coming from, then it stops completely.


The scanner on her arm jumps back to life as it begins to show massive readings and a warning on the holo-screen, this time showing a bright blue blip and a distance between her and this shadowy stalker. The meter tracker reading at twenty five m begins to tick down rapidly to twenty. Jesse stood up from her position shining her light in all directions. Nothing can be seen. Fifteen m can be seen on the tracker and now her shoulder light begins to flicker and spasm. “Wha? No! No no no!” Jesse quickly taps it to try and give it another surge but it is no use. As the light begins to fade, ten m can be seen on the illuminating wrist scanner. Jesses breathing becomes rapid and frantic and she begins to looks rapidly in every direction. Seven m can now be seen on the holo-screen and Jesse draws her weapon and quickly turns on the power. With a thrum and a high pitched whine and a small blue hue that lights up an area roughly six feet in front of her, she scans the area with her finger squeezed tightly against the trigger. As the light from her shoulder LED finally flickers and fades out of existence, Jesses breathing hastened and she takes one hand off of her weapon to affix the pair of goggles to her face and turns them on as well. The room becomes illuminated in a dull green of night vision. She flips another switch on the left side of it and the lenses of the goggle transition in a different mode. One that shifts the night vision to another type while keeping the dull green glow. She scans the area in front of her, beads of sweat forming all along her neck and cheeks. She scans to the left and then quickly to the right. Not a soul in sight. She then quickly turns around and points her weapon straight ahead, only to find nothing behind her. The static from the COMM and the whirring of her pistol are the only noises that she can hear around her along with an occasional garbled word from the COMM as well. The only light remaining in the darkness being the faint glow of her weapon and wrist scanner. She scans to the left and right, then quickly pivots around and fires off six rounds from her pistol the look to be a type of bullet charged with a strange form of energy that glows a pale blue in color. The bullets careen off of the wall and ricochet in all directions. She had hit nothing with her quick burst.


Unbeknownst to her, constantly remaining in the arc of her shadows, blackened tendrils had begun to form and free float around the darker parts of her waist, keeping well enough away from touch and out of sight. The scanner quickly flashes and beeps as Jesse looks to her wrist to see that the meter reading is now only at two m. Jesses breathing intensifies as she looks straight ahead of her, eyes wide with fear and a pale horror sets in to her cheeks and lips. With a quick flash, five pairs of eyes open to reveal nothing but sockets filled with what one could only describe as hellfire that had appeared roughly six feet behind her. The only sounds that were made in that brief point in time was Jesses breathing and then screams of terror as the tendrils quickly tightened around her waist and whipped her back into the darkness next to the hellfire eyes.

The Witcher. A review of the game

The Witcher. A video game brought to life by CD Projekt and Atari that is based off of the novels of the Polish writer Andrzej Sapkowski. A game that I had never picked up until recently. This is very strange for me as I enjoy action packed role playing games, hack and slash adventure titles and the occasional hunting of monsters and anything that goes bump in the night. So one would have thought this title would be right up my ally when it came out in late 2007. For reasons beyond my control, recently graduating high school and working to pay my way through college (not as a man of ill repute so get that thought out of your head) etc, I failed to pick this gem up from a local game store. Had I truly known what tale of monsters, sword swinging and sexual encounters was in store for me, I would have picked it up sooner.


Now a little while ago I had seen the trailer and the preorder for The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt (c) and what got me interested at first was the Wild Hunt itself. If you do not know what the Wild Hunt really is, here is the TLDR version of it. The Wild Hunt is basically an ancient folk my of North, West and Central Europe and it is a giant gathering of spectral dead or fairies or other types of ethereal huntsmen rushing across the land or skies depending on whose point you look at. There can also be just one huntsmen which could be either male or female or some other person of legend. I have found more information that talks about Woden (Odin) being the leader of the Wild Hunt but like I said, it is up for debate on who runs the show.


After watching the trailer for the third installment of The Witcher, I was immediately hooked on the thought of "Wait...is this a ton of monster/mythos killing along with what appears to be good swordplay and magic? Hmmm..." Now at the same time that pre-orders were going on, this was on Steam by the way, they also had the first and second Witcher games on sale as a two and three boxed set basically. Having never played any of the Witchers but now interested, I decided to pick up the two game bundle for roughly fifteen dollars. Pretty damn good deal if you ask me for two full games. So I hopped on the first game and tried it out to make sure I would like the series. Needless to say, after the first intro stages and getting used to the combat of the game, I got very interested in the story and swordplay. I won't ruin anything for the people who have not played this series or for someone who was interested in it but I personally think it is worth it and if you want a rating system, here is what I've got for you.


Graphics - 3.75/5 At the time of this release I would say that the graphics were pretty good but they are not on par with some of the other games that were being released around the same time. This being said, graphics will not break a game for me as I still find myself going back to the old NES cartridges that are eight to sixteen bit and playing through the old games that brought joy to me when I was younger.


Sound - 4.85/5 This one actually surprised me a little bit. Every area that you go to really feels like you are their. From rushing rivers, frogs in a swap and the clatter of dinner plates at a tavern. The actual score of the areas are very looming or foreboding in a sense as this is a very dark game. One of the stages I was on actually got me a little spooked as I was playing this game one night, alone in my house while I was in a certain area and the music turned extraordinarily haunting and then a sharp violin came on, usually the kind in slasher films, that caught me by surprised and made jump a bit. Nothing happened though. I'm kind of a fraidy-cat.


Voice Acting - 4.85/5 I think that CD Projekt found the right people for this game and I hope that they stuck around for the sequels because I would be sad if they didn't. The only reason I didn't give it a 5/5 was due to a couple of issues with the text not being what was said or vice versa but definitely not a deal breaker for me.


User Interface and Controls – 3/5 Now even though I think that this game was very good, the control scheme and user interface for the game could have been a little more fluid/accessible. Now I was playing the PC version of this so this is probably a lot easier for the console version due to controllers instead but after some time I was able to get the hang of it.


Story 5/5 Not going to ruin for you but there are a lot of things going on in this story that took some time to figure out and then seemingly have to refigure out again. It took me a little bit of time to finish it with all of the side quests but it was all worth it.


Replay ability- 3.85/5 I think that this game stands a pretty good chance at me replaying it as there are things that do require multiple playthroughs if you want to get all of the other rewards.


Overall score – 4.22/5 All in all I would think that this is a very fair score to give The Witcher coming into the game with a blind eye in a sense. I wanted to see what this game would have to offer me as a video game enthusiast and it did not disappoint me in the least. I sank roughly a full day into the game as my total time invested was almost at the twenty four hour mark. Some might think that this is actually a very short game and I can attest to the stigma that it might be. The story itself only has five chapters and if you do nothing but the main missions, then yes the game is very short. The side quests are not mundane to me and they blend very well with the story arcs while some other quests are optional. I am kind of a completionist when it comes to games so this is why it took me so long to finish the game. So if you think that this may have tempted you to come hunt monsters in the dark and sweep women off of their feet and join in a pretty epic quest for revenge then I would definitely suggest picking up The Witcher.

Beating Blackrock Foundry in Hearthstone

Welcome lads and lasses to my very first post about Hearthstone. Interestingly enough, I am not by any means a new and young upstart into this world but let me also state that I am nowhere near that great of a Hearthstone player as I still make many mistakes during my matches.


I will openly admit that it is a very fun game that I was actually very reluctant to try at first. Mostly due to the fact that I was on a tirade of “Blizzard won't get my money again” just because I have been spurned by World of Warcraft, but that is a different story. Hearthstone has zapped away at least 45 hours of my life and that is perfectly alright. The matches are fairly quick and I do have fun with them. I do not get the negative feedback from other players like I would in most other competitive games such as League of Legends.


As I said earlier I have been very cautious about giving my money back to Blizzard as they almost hooked me for the release of their new expansion, Warlords of Draenor. Not going to lie...I am still very tempted to pick it back up. One thing that I love about Hearthstone is the fact that it is free to play. You do not have to pay for any packs of cards what so ever. If you have the coin to spare then you could pick a few up or earn them the hard way like I have. However, when the Blackrock Mountain adventure preorder came out, I caved and decided to buy it.


Now that the Blackrock Mountain raid/expansion/adventure/whatever you want to call it has not come online, I was anxious to try it out. I have not bought the Naxxramas adventure yet but I will more than likely grab it soon as I have seen many players with the cards that can be won from those sets and I generally have a difficult time with them due to their effects and abilities.


I decided that I would only use one hero for this as I have been having a decent amount of luck with him and that was Gul'dan the Warlock. I managed to beat the entire first wing of the Blackrock Mountain adventure using a basic only deck and a few class specific cards which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I did it anyway. Not to mention I do not have a lot of other rare cards that I have seen people throw out, so I played with what I had and after about 11-12 tries (all boss matches total) I finally beat the first wing.


But I did not win this without bringing back a little bit of experience to share with others if they haven't already tried to find help with this new set. So lets looks at the first boss in the the Blackrock Foundry.


Coren Direbrew.


This dark iron dwarf doesn't really seem like he would be that much of a jerk being the first match up in this adventure, but do not take him lightly or you will regret it. His special ability which is basically an auto use at its cost of 0 to use, puts two minions (1 from each players deck) onto the field. Though this sounds like a good idea to some, if you have many minions in your deck that have effects on summon, most if not all of them do not take effect. This also happens for Direbrew's minions as well so there is a silver lining there to be had.


What I did learn after loosing to him twice and then beating him is that I could have just swapped a bunch of heavy hitter cards in my deck and for all of the little minions I was using and not have worried about summoning them as Direbrew would probably have done it for me. I have not tried that out yet so I do not know if that would be the best course of action.


Looking at the next boss of the Foundry. High Justice Grimstone.


I don't really know if this boss was more or less annoying than Direbrew, but I can definitely say this, if you let this guy get to if not more than 8 mana stones...you're probably going to have a bad time. You are in the dark iron arena for gods sake and you are going to be pitted against a lot of rare cards of some famous people in this one. Damn near everyone has come to the arena to join in the fun. From Nat Pagel to Deathwing. Yes, Deathwing. This combo happened to me. It was not fun at all. Still using a basic only warlock deck I was able to beat him after the third or fourth try of unluckiness. His special ability was more of an annoyance than anything as it summons a 1/1 minion with taunt which can really jam up a few things on what you thought might be the final round.


All I can really say is just burn this guy down as quickly as you can because he will summon some really hard hitters with nasty effects. If you can keep pressure on him with your minions though, you should be in the clear by at least turn 8 if you drew the right cards and have him on the ground by turn 9 in a worse case scenario.


Now for the final boss of this wing. Emperor Thaurissan.


This guy is a powerhouse wielding bastard, plain and simple. He is a loving bastard though as he actually starts off with his wife on the field and is fiercely protective of her. Let me start off by saying that you should NOT under any circumstances, kill his wife or it is game over for you. His special ability is only a cost 2 but it deals 30 damage right to your hero. Yeah, that's right. 30. This is stopped only by his wife remaining on the field so it would be unwise to use AoE spells or abilities that hit random targets. His wife will constantly attack only you, or minions with taunt so it would be a wise idea to bring minions without taunt to this fight as most taunt minions will kill her in one to two turns which will then spell doom for you.


I used the same basic warlock deck and after more than a few tries ( I would say at least 4-5) I was able to dethrone the emperor, beat the foundry and win the Emperor's card which is actually really nice. Though this first wing of the new adventure was pretty challenging in itself, I suspect that there will be many more trials and tribulations, along with much harder boss fights to come across as the wings open up in the coming weeks. With this mindset all I will say is this. “I didn't beat the first wing by being prepared. I beat it by being stubborn and that's what it's gonna be like for the rest of these wings so bring it on!”

Gaspy2 Trial Run vs. Kreoss2

Lich Lord Asphyxious or as many people know him, Gaspy2. A very clever name to say the least. I have been meaning to try him out for some time but I have not been able to get around to it until last Wednesday at my weekly Warmahordes League.

Unfortunately I do not own the model but I do have the Cryx faction book. So I just proxied him with a medium base and my match was under way.

Just for the hell of it, I decided to proxy in some Bile Thralls. I had no idea if I was going to win or loose the match, I just wanted to get in some practice with him and the Biles so I could see if they are to my style of play.

My match was against a friend who was using Grand Exemplar Kreoss or Kreoss2 to some. He also brought along a Paladin of the Order of the Wall and some Exemplar Bastions along with him. Note this wasn't his full list but I was really only worried about these units. Oh, and Eiryss, Mage Hunter of Ios.

Now my group consisted of; Gaspy2, a full unit of bile thralls, full unit of bane thralls (I am probably hearing a lot of people screaming "Why not bane knights!?" to answer this, money is tight.) a skarlock thrall, one deathripper and a free slayer.

I started first and for the first two turns, it was my units running up the field why Gaspy2 was laying down caustic mists as much as possible. Reason being because of a Heavy Jack that had a large cannon on the opponents team.

Now some of you are familiar with the technique known as the "Bile Bomb." If done right, this technique can and will destroy waves of single hit infantry units. If you are lucky enough to have you opponent play to your likings, you might be able to hit a couple of heavies, lights, solos or maybe even get a random shot on the enemies leader. This involves the use of the Bile Thralls that I proxied in. These units are pretty much bullet magnets. They have absolutely pathetic stats but most people know what they can do. They have a special ability called "Purge" which automatically hits anything in its front arc in a set distance. The damage is barely in the double digits but the nice thing is that it also applies corrosion to anything it hits. So if you happened to hit a single box unit with the purge but didn't kill them, don't worry. There is 66% chance they will die next turn. Since this was my first match with Gaspy2 I didn't want to be THAT guy or girl (don't want to be sexist here) who pulls a one turn Bile Bomb. If you don't know what this technique is capable of doing, please watch this video. It will enlighten you on the obscenely stupid amounts of destruction you can sow.

Once the third round came into play, I was ready to take out the first priority target of my friend's army. Eiryss. She is absolutely stellar for whoever can take her. I have learned my lesson from her before as she can and will strip off all of the focus on your warcaster if she can drawn line of sight to them. To make matters worse, you do not replenish your focus for one round. This is a huge setback to all warcasters as this means no spells, no boosted anything, no allocating focus and no overboosted power field. She pretty much sets up the caster assassination run like nobodies business. Thankfully I was able to take this solo out first which saved me from a lot of trouble down the road.

Next, I tried out a purge just for SaG. I was able to hit a few units with it, but nothing major since my friends units were all multi hit along with an ability that says we can split the damage between our entire unit instead of one person take the full brunt of it. Then it was time for the banes to charge in.
I was only able to kill two of his bastion units, but that was alright for me. The remaining 3 bastions were out of range of the other banes.

I knew that my friends turn was going to be crushing but I didn't realize how bad it was going to be. He moved Kreoss2 in, blasted two of my thralls to oblivion with spells. Then Kreoss used his feat. This was the killer. His feat says that every friendly model in his control range gets an extra attack and auto hits in melee...let me start with this. His heavy jack two hit killed my little deathripper. The remaining bastions killed all but 1 of my bane thralls. His paladin, other solo and light tore through my bile thralls like a hot knife through Jello. 

Normally I would be shaking in my boots if something like this happened with another caster. This was not the case. The next round was going to be the final one of the night If I didn't do something. His heavy was able to charge my caster the next turn, so I did what Cryx is known for...I played dirty.

I moved my slayer in to take out another solo of his that had been a thorn in my side. Then I had Gaspy2 charge one of the bastions. Before my charge ended, I used Gaspy2's feat. What his feat does is it can bring back up to 10 warrior unit models that have been killed, give them incorporeal and undead while turning them into solos for one round. Once their turn comes up, they MUST charge. Now continuing on with the charge attack, I was able to kill the bastion in question which aided in my plan. I was able to place 9 of my recently re-deceased bane thralls back onto the table and with some fanangling, on their turn, 4 of them were able to get the charge off on Kreoss2. The second Bane Thrall was able to take Kreoss2 down and win the match for me. (I know, had I used bane knights I would have had more to get to him and this was true. We tested this out with proxied knights and I would have been able to get 7 bane knights to charge Kreoss2. I am not sure if the damage would have outweighed the thralls though.)

All in all, it was a fun and destructive match and Gaspy2, along with some Bane Knights, are on my list of models to acquire next.

I think I have started to grow in experience using the Cryx and I think I have become decent with them. I am however, far off from being a good match up for some of the other league members and the other Warmahordes players that I know in the outlying area. When it all comes down to it though, page 5 it. "Play like you have a pair."